Could Changing The Way You Make Your Bed Improve Your Relationship?

Many of our European friends have figured this one out.  Instead of sharing a top sheet and one big comforter, each person sleeps with their own fluffy down duvet that’s untucked and there is no top sheet at all.  This simple solution can solve so many common sleeping problems between couples, resulting in better rest for everyone.

 Photo credit Krista Ketlanen

For us it started when we moved to Munich, Germany. We traveled light – bringing only our 2, 4 & 6 year olds and some books, clothes, toys and my beloved kitchen knife set. We’d rented our home in Dallas furnished and my husband’s company was helping with furnished housing during our expat assignment. Within days of arriving, I found myself looking for European sized bedding for our European sized beds. When I asked the sales person for a king sized comforter,  she sternly replied that it was “unsanitary!” Now my German was ‘sehr schlecht’ so I initially chalked it up to a mistranslation.   

duvet 2
Photo credit Stadshem via Plante Deco

But I soon learned that in Germany (and at least Austria, Sweden, Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Norway and Finland ) couples typically have two duvets on one bed. They don’t share blankets; they each have their own. 

duvet 5
Photo credit Joanna Goddard 

10 plus years since we moved back to the states and we still happily sleep with separate duvets.  Here are the top reasons why…

  • Left to my own devices I’m a blanket thief. I slowly steal it all bedding to my side leaving my beloved shivering. Sad fact – we all have our flaws. Having my own personal duvet means I can roll over, taking my duvet with me and hubby is left unscathed. 


  • My husband and I operate on a substantially different body thermostat. Being under the same blanket together can be like sleeping next to the sun. Having my own bedding also means if I get too hot in the night, I can flip my duvet over to the cooler side. Ahh…


  • There is no top sheet to arrange or divide equally or to tangle around your feet. Making the bed is also a snap as we just fold the duvets on our side.


  • If I’ve made my most wonderful lentils for dinner, the after affects are not shared so readily.  Maybe this is what the lady meant by shared bedding being unsanitary?
duvet 3
Photo credit via Decor8

All of this adds up to a better night’s sleep and that makes everything in my life better. But don’t take my word for it, there are lots of other American converts out there.

Sara Crow says “Having two separate blankets on my bed …. it’s an act of love.” 

Julie Maigret says “Pretty much the best thing that has happened to our relationship ever.” 

Kate Arends says “We slept like babies.”

Rebecca Thandi Norman says “It made my life better.”

Julia Ryan says “For two restless light sleeper cover-hogs this is a genius strategy.”

duvet 4
Picture from Swiss Lark

There are lots of options about how to make your bed in the European style with separate duvets. I’ve provided some examples in the pictures in this post. European sized single duvets are not as wide as a American twin duvets, which typically hang over the sides of a twin bed.  But both can be folded like the pictures above, either in half or in thirds.

I’ve read lately about the new trend in luxury houses that have two master bedrooms, one for each spouse. This feels pretty sad and lonely to me. Maybe they should first try separate bedding. 

Feature image credit from Scandinavia Standard

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s